love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
