i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
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Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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