hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
