discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
