There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
