i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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