Yo dont text me then not text me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
