There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize