Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
