cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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