His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
