He felt like a one man threesome
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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