I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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