I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
