Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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