we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
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She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
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Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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