I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sobbing to NWA
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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