She's JV to your varsity
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
