Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When are your genitals available?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
