Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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