There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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