I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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