the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
