I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
