Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
