when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
