We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
