i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
