Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
