Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
