Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
