Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
