My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Say something about gay babies.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
