The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
