Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
