Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
