Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
