Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
