I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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