If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
