dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
