Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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