The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
