What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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