just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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