When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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