I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
