Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
