we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
