idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
