are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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