this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
