you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
