I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Farmville is her only friend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
