Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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