she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
