i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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