What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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