It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Who died my cat blue again?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
