Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm passing your future prison.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
