I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
