i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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