just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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