But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
