I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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